I’ve heard so many different rules about dating someone older, and they all boil down to a magic number: “Don’t date anyone more than ten years older,” or “Marriages never work if there’s more than fifteen years’ difference.” People love rules, telling themselves that abiding by them will cause them to get hurt less. The most important rule to follow is a general one: Make sure the two of you have the same goals for the relationship and for your daily life together. Think about whether you want to get married; have a big or tiny wedding; have children; be with someone who already has kids; live in the future in the same town or city where you’ve been dating; move somewhere far or close; have extended family very involved or not very involved in your life; have a relationship where you socialize almost always together or often; have a partner who’s more of a social butterfly or homebody; and have a partner who is very involved or not very involved in extracurricular activities. Psychological Age You’ve probably heard someone say, “He seems young for his age,” or “She’s so young at heart.” Though we all have a chronological age, we also have what I refer to as a ‘psychological age.’ How old do you feel, for example? In addition, ask yourself what the psychological age is of your prospective older partner. Again, use those early months of a relationship to gauge whether your sexualities are congruent enough.
How will he or she fit in with your social life as it exists today?
In addition, think about everyone with whom your prospective partner socializes. The most harmonious relationships involve a fairly seamless overlap of social circles.
Which means it can sometimes be tough to find things in common with other people who, well, aren’t that way, including potential homecoming dates.
So it’s totally fine to moon over people who are older than you!
Are you always up for something fun and spontaneous?
Do you like to feel the occasional rush of adrenaline and stimulation?(Um, probably don’t do this, you guys.) It wasn’t like I was stupid. But I didn’t have enough experience or wisdom (as opposed to intelligence) to completely understand what I was getting into.I thought I was totally prepared to deal with the daily realities of having a boyfriend who was older than me by a decade-plus, which turned out to be less than correct.In the end, falling in love with someone significantly older can be one of the most rewarding experiences in your life – or one of the most frustrating.Though compatibility factors are important for any relationship, the stakes are even higher for relationships with major age discrepancies.If so, you either need a partner to like the same things, or you need to find someone who is fine with you doing those things without him or her.