I’m going to level with you here: your photos are going to be first – and possibly last – thing guys look at when they visit your profile.
The cold hard truth is, your photos are the most important part of online dating, and it’s critical that you understand how they can make you or break you.
Men are visual creatures; we base a lot of our initial judgements on a woman’s looks long before we get to know her as a person.
The occasional typo or split-infinitive is one thing; abuse of the English language in the form of “Ur” “want2” and the like is another and the odds of finding a guy you might actually want who to write like a sub-literate moron is so remote that I don’t think we have numbers that large.
You can also feel free to ignore any and all winks, flowers, pokes, nudges, smiles or flirts.
At best, these are the chicken’s way of trying to goad you into making the first move.
At worst, it’s a passive-aggressive attempt at the same thing. One of the biggest complaints I have heard from women when it comes to online dating is the profound sense of entitlement that men can have.
I’ll be the first to admit: I write most of my articles with a male audience in mind. well, I’m a guy, and a lot of my advice is naturally going to be coming from a male perspective and male experiences. As a general rule, women are more socialized towards being willing to ask for help when trying to improve their chances with guys.
Men, on the other hand, are told that they exist in binary states; either they’re good with women or they aren’t.
In theory, it should be fairly simple; dude with the brightest plumage, women with the best child-bearing hips, 10 minutes of squishy noises and then a whole lot of controversy as to whether primates pairbond monogamously or polygamously. Well, if you want quality guys, you’re going to put the effort into the profile.
But because we had to go and evolve and develop complex brains and societies, we had to go and make it all complicated and shit; what used to be instinctual has become confusing, and we end up overanalyzing it…if a woman is interested in a guy, shouldn’t she be willing to make the first move – after all, it physical at first, or can there be an emotional connection as well? Your online dating profile is your verbal equivalent of a peacock’s lustrous plumage When you’re writing your profile, think about the sort of guy you’re looking for; while guys in general are wider ranging in the types they’re willing to date (or bang), there will be plenty who have a narrower focus. As I’ve advised guys before, if you want a type, you have to be able to show yourself as someone who that type would be attracted to; think if it as proving that you know how to speak their language.
There are fewer outlets for dating advice for guys than there are for women.
That being said, I I just joined Ok Cupid on your recommendation, and I have to say you were very right about it being a buyer’s market for ladies.
One would think that when everybody is working at a step or two removed from the immediacy – via online dating – those questions can still crop up and make people want to throw their hands up and scream in frustration. You just have to understand how guys think and how to make that work for you. If you want a particular kind of guy, you’re going to have to know what looking for. If you like nerd-boys, mention your own geeky interests.