She wants to go to family counseling since we don't "respect" her choice. I need some feedback from people who know more about this subject than I do..is a side of life I have no other first hand knowledge.
Originally posted by 2zmom He is a recovering heroin addict (who was kicked out of the program for using his cell phone???! The only way they would kick you out is if drugs were found in the daily urine screening.
I have no idea what program he was in, I have been told he left the area, moved 600 miles away to live with his parents (who were giving him "one last chance")who live close to us where he "cleaned up" and is no longer using. He never seems to have money like other boyfriends have had, even though he works. I've heard that too about no relationships for one year after rehab. Needless to say they went right back to it and I have had a miserable hard road to walk with these men.
He was skinny when he arrived here, and has gained 20 pounds in the last 6 or so months. Ya know, he may turn out to be a fab guy, but tell her to atleast abide by the one year thing. Remind her of what having kids with a person like this would be like. You may want to PM her and point her to this thread. Not saying that people can't recover, they can and they can become great people but it really take ALOT of dedication therapy ect. It seems odd that she would be attracted to someone who led that kind of lifestyle.
did he say "*** you people, i'm doing what i want" etc? she has no use of one of her arms because of the drug use. My drug of choice was a prescription painkiller (or seven). The addiction is about 10% drugs, and 90% whatever brought you to them. That's the kicker - the program doesn't fix you, you have to do all the repair work yourself. Now then, last thought, you - Mom - should tread very carefully here. Unfortunately, there's not much you can do that won't cause the exact opposite end result you believe to be correct. Hopefully he alienates your daughter in a speedy fashion and she can move onto better things. My brother ran into some problems last year and while we couldn't get the truth out of him at the time, Mum went and did a course for parents of addicts.
in other words, i am sure there is more to this story than is being told. she is afraid to leave because she says she will probably do heroin again. you're probably scared she will say "well fine, then i won't come around anymore either" but she needs to know how serious you are about this. she sounds like a smart girl, but this is a stupid decision. Yes, you most definitely do not want this person in your home - especially if you have anything of value within easy reach. " He does that because we don't like him, she knows it and tells him. It was at a local help centre/rehab centre - it taught her how to deal with his demands (and lies) and how the addiction was changing him.
Even though our experience hasn't been "first hand," it has been a tough and emotional journey. I am not surprised that he would remember, and that they would talk/text on the occasion. For a recovering drug addict, that can be a blessing and a curse.
When temptation strikes, it's much easier to get a fix with a pocket full of cash.
I took this symbol to be a syringe (which is what really put me on the heroin path), but he tells my daughter is a tattoo that tattoo artist have like a fraternity symbol (he at one time was working on being a tattoo artist, I have been told), and she believes him. Well, as you know sharing a needle can lead to many diseases, including HIV. i say tell your daughter absolutely not, and if she continues to see him, you want nothing to do with him. then she got involved with a "former heroin addict" that introduced her to the drug. I know this is a bummer to read, so I apologize, so here's a joke: So there's this guy whose got a drinking problem and a bar tender suggests he go to AA.
Is it true that people in recovery are urged to stay out of romantic relationships for at least a year? You may want to discuss with your daughter the health risks involved with dating this guy. you can get kicked out of rehab for all sorts of reasons, especially not following their rules. she eventually got to the point that her parents said she was a lost cause and needed to keep her away from the rest of the kids. He stays sober for two days, then he goes home and his dog bites him. I'm broke, tired, pessimistic, hopeless and dissapointed. I imagine it must be one of the worst things in the world to watch you child make these decisions.
Lovingly state your health concerns about hepatitis and his state of sobriety (or not) and let it go. It was a great help to her (and I) to hear the advice from experts, and it also taught us how to be strong and to not give in to him.
His father also attended a similar course at a local church.
Drug addiction touches every person in the addict's sphere; some in small ways; some in excruciatingly major ways.