On the plus side, those who find us appealing, find us REALLY appealing.
Editor's note: Brenna Ehrlich and Andrea Bartz are the sarcastic brains behind humor blog and book "Stuff Hipsters Hate." When they're not trolling Brooklyn for new material, Ehrlich works as a senior writer at MTV, and Bartz is a news editor at Psychology Today. Your missive doesn't have to be Pulitzer-worthy, by any means -- although spell check really doesn't hurt -- but there's a whole passel of openers that will get you deleted from a digital dater's heart.
Got a question about etiquette in the digital world? (CNN) -- If you're young, urban and didn't import a significant other from college, it's pretty likely that you're on an online dating site.
I read what I purchased from you faithfully and followed everything you said.
I am a 36-year-old East Indian woman living in New York City. This is incredibly frustrating, especially after I checked your blog and saw that in a question you asked about response rate, ALL these women said that they got at least 50-60% response rate.
There's plenty of time later to run out of things to say. (I'll also be wearing a rather irresistible bow tie -- with a motor! I'm looking for a smart man with passion and drive, and you seem to be it! Why no one wants you: You probably sent the same message to half of OKCupid ... As we have already established (see #2), we don't need your life story. The creeper Example: I want to ****** ***** with your **** ******. Unless "casual sex" is listed, cease and desist with the sexting. The gusher Example: Oh my, you are extremely handsome, you know that? If you ever want to stare into those "starshine" eyes in person, hold the compliments until you're trying to get into said person's pants. The wordless wonder Example: You have been added to Patrick Bateman Is The Man's Favorite's List!
Go out and cultivate a hobby of some sort, and then get back to us. You wouldn't sit down at a bar and tell someone your life story (that role is reserved for the old and deranged), so choose something you and the dude have in common and start with that. I'll stomp on it and you'll be pissed, but you'll get over it because I'm just so gosh-darned charming. Take, say, three minutes to pound out a more personal message. Why no one wants you: We'll let you know after we examine that snapshot. You know that section where the girl/guy has indicated what s/he's "looking for"? According to an OKCupid study, calling someone "sexy," "beautiful" or "hot" is a huge turnoff in a first message.
Just because I get guitar lessons doesn’t mean I’m going to be performing like Clapton any time soon.
And just because you bought Finding the One Online and rewrote your profile and tried my email technique doesn’t necessarily mean that you nailed it. Just do something different, because right now, you’re too close to the process to be objective about it. I would just add: don’t be afraid to keep changing things up.
It’s a seller’s market and they can afford to be choosy. In reality, failure is the default setting in dating.
I don’t know where you pulled up that women get a 60% response rate – maybe one of my customer testimonials – but the reason I used it is because it’s unusual and impressive.
When I met him, he was on the sixth or seventh version of his profile!